[ going to hobble over to sit on his bed because standing for very long gets pretty damn painful. the kitty runs over to hop up and start putting her paws on his lap directly over whatever injuries he has there and starts trying to crawl through the sling on his arm. ]

What is there even to tease you about? You look like ... how you look [ huge. handsome.], and you go around all day and bravely declare all the ways you'd protect us. You're hard to find a flaw in, some days.