[ he's thought to himself before that yves is like a spirit in a great many ways. at least, the ways he's forced himself into being. the maker's first, imperfect children. but all spirits live on a spectrum - can be twisted from their purpose by circumstance or tragedy. justice can turn to vengeance, wisdom to pride, love to obsession. the difference between anders' relationship to others and to yves is fairly simple: justice cares a great deal about him too, because he is a kindred spirit. maybe not the same thing, but the same type of animal.

squeezing the hand again, but letting him cry. sometimes that can be a good thing, to feel things. but he gets it. so much of his time here has been spent arguing with others about the ways in which he himself is frightening, ugly and burdened, and others refusing to acknowledge that part of himself. he doesn't want to deny yves that. some of it is ugly and bloody and cruel. but he's not alone with that. ]

I think this is penance enough. You have more than punished yourself, and nothing we can do will bring anyone any sort of satisfaction.