[ He awkwardly stands here, unsure of how to feel. It's certainly one thing to remember what he'd done, and another thing to see it from a third's eye perspective, see the look on his face as he practically turned Riccardo's insides to soup, the cold fury and rage. He's been angry. He'd never been that angry. He'd wondered if that was just something he could always do, lying somewhere in him, only awoken when Riccardo forced his hand. Now he's even less certain.
The only reason he doesn't pull away here is because he has just enough awareness to know that he would be a hypocrite in doing so. He can't say all he said to Anders and then refuse to hear it back. It'd prove he doesn't really believe what he says. He closes his eyes. And breathes. Settle tremours of the memory being dredged up, calm down. ]
She is... my only family. And she had a chance to live a normal life. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy.
[ he isn't good at comfort, at being there for someone in need. he's tried. he should be better at this - to be a healer who cannot express sympathy is missing a vital skill, but he feels he lost some of what made him human with Justice.
but this seems simple enough. reaching over to not quite rest a hand on him, but gently touch a few fingers to his arm. ]
I don't exactly have a family, but-- You are lucky to have her. She is lucky to have you. [ well he's not blind. he's seen hawkes devotion to his family. he's been devoted to people in this way, to want them to have a life that maybe you can never have. ]
There's people in this world I would spill any amount of blood for.
...I know the intention, but maybe not say out loud you would spill blood?
[ He huffs, a gentle deflection of the comfort but without rejecting it. Marcoh never cracks jokes because he's bad at them. But he's grateful Anders is trying in his own way too. ]
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The only reason he doesn't pull away here is because he has just enough awareness to know that he would be a hypocrite in doing so. He can't say all he said to Anders and then refuse to hear it back. It'd prove he doesn't really believe what he says. He closes his eyes. And breathes. Settle tremours of the memory being dredged up, calm down. ]
She is... my only family. And she had a chance to live a normal life. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy.
[ And he fucked it up. ]
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but this seems simple enough. reaching over to not quite rest a hand on him, but gently touch a few fingers to his arm. ]
I don't exactly have a family, but-- You are lucky to have her. She is lucky to have you. [ well he's not blind. he's seen hawkes devotion to his family. he's been devoted to people in this way, to want them to have a life that maybe you can never have. ]
There's people in this world I would spill any amount of blood for.
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[ He huffs, a gentle deflection of the comfort but without rejecting it. Marcoh never cracks jokes because he's bad at them. But he's grateful Anders is trying in his own way too. ]
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I would. I think everyone here knows by now my nature.
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[ Firmly. ]
...At the least, if it is, then it is for the both of us.
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[ he'd rather care than not. ]
You'll find your way back to her.
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[ Anders is probably right. He's not sure how it is to not feel. That seems terrifying too. ]
And we will find him, for you.
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I don't know. He's a Champion, aren't they supposed to take care of their own problems?
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[ Helping comfort him in his own problems. Why not do the same? Also don't be a goober, you want Hawke back. ]
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What can I say, I have a type.
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And then gives Anders a light shove in the arm. ]